East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
