Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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