saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
