Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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