i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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