He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Randomize
