worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
It's never too late to be topless.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
