How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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