This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
