i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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