Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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