My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Randomize