You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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