guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
