I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
