we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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