it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
