I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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