marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
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