know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
