She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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