you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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