you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
