I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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