Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
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