Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
