don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
