What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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