I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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