i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Randomize
