Who wears a wallet chain?!
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
He better not be in your backpack
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
