I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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