She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
