Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize