Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(732): View more from New Jersey

Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog

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(651): View more from Minnesota

Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!

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(901): View more from Tennessee

I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"

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(207): View more from Maine

He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.

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(604): View more from British Columbia

He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog

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(203): View more from Connecticut

I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm

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(303): View more from Colorado

You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.

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