they need to just BURY HIM!
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
