to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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