its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
