college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Randomize
