I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
