I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
