i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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