She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
