he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
