Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
