I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Randomize
