Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
