Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
