Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
