porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
