ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
