I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Randomize
