Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I look better un-naked...
you mean i was at the winter classic?
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
