Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
She announced her abortion via fbk
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
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