Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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