he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Houston, we have a squirter
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
