The brown eye won't let me do that either.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
