I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
