He is such a slut. More and more my type.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
