It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
