I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
