I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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