im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
