He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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