literally had 100 drinks last night.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
