Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
sex in a hospital.. check
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Randomize
