If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Your mouth is God's brothel.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Randomize
