just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
