Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Randomize
