i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
the raccoons are back...
Randomize