Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
