My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
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